Flo-Joe for Cambridge English Exams

Cambridge English: Advanced

Check out students' answers to Flo-Joe's CAE Writing tasks with a teacher's feedback

Writing Class: Book/Film Review


Task Type: Book/Film Review

Question
You see the following announcement on a website that sells books and film videos:

Submit a review of one of our books or film videos that you have enjoyed recently, and get 10% off your next purchase!

Tell our website users what it's about and what type of person it would most appeal to.

Write your review for the website users. (Between 220 and 260 words)

Makeover: Farah

Read Farah's answer to this question below. Try correcting the piece of writing yourself first: use the marking codes to think about what might be wrong (or what's good) about the piece of work. Then when you're ready, click the green buttons in the text for our feedback.

Fall in New York P is a very moving story, especially if you enjoy good romances. G

A young girl who suffers WT from a fatal disease and has her life-time limited by it, PE falls in love and starts a touching love-story with a womaniser man WF who is twenty years older than her. He has never had a long and serious date WW with another woman, for fear of /\ love. In contrast, she is a lovely and full of joy girl PE who despite her disease, strongly believes in life and goes for it open-hearted. PE She teaches him how to love and he gives her strenght S to fight for her life.

Richard Gere as the male main character doesn't disappoint performing a "type" very suitable to him. He knows how to seduce and delight the female audience with his charm. Gd Winona Rider once again manages to delight T, WW us with her delicate and perfect performance.

Though it is quite a predictable story, the film was directed with such gentleness that it touched my heart. Gd Having New York in the Fall as part of the scenery was very helpful to create the right atmosphere for this touching melodrama which, despite the lack of originality, leads us to think about what is the real value of life. WO You will have a nice time watching this film. T

Feedback

This has all the ingredients of a good review, Farah, and your style is spot-on. I thought the range of your vocabulary was particularly good and your grammatical control is splendid on the whole.
For the makeover, I reworded some expressions that didn't sound completely natural e.g. 'full of joy girl' and 'goes for it open-hearted'.

 

Marking Code

/\ Word(s) missing

- Omit word

C Capitalization

Gd Good

O Organisation

P Punctuation

PE Poorly expressed

R Register/Formality

SS Sentence Structure

S Spelling

T Tip (Not wrong but a suggestion)

WF Wrong form

WO Word order

WT Wrong tense

WW Wrong word