Cambridge English: Proficiency
Check out students' answers to Flo-Joe's CPE Writing tasks with a teacher's feedback
Writing Class: Essay
Task Type: Essay
Question
Read the two texts below.
Write an essay summarising and evaluating the key points from both texts. Use your own words throughout as far as possible and include your own ideas in your answers.
| The Downside of Tourism Despite the importance of the tourism industry to local economies there are significant costs to being a popular holiday destination. Local cultures can suffer as the needs of the tourist are given priority. For example, local shops can be demolished to make way for larger retail developments. In addition, the negative effects on the environment are well documented. Areas suffering from scarce water, food and energy resources can see the situation deteriorate with the extra demand caused by an influx of tourists. There will often be a physical impact as well, with increases in local pollution or the effect on the eco-system of large-scale construction. More significantly, the generation of income for the local economy is often lower than envisaged. The majority of income can often go to multi-nationals such as airline companies and hotel chains. |
| Eco-Tourism Recent years have seen a growth in what is termed 'eco-tourism'. The aim of eco-tourism is to unite conservation and communities through sustainable travel. So what are the key elements of eco-tourism? In addition to minimizing the impact of tourism on the environment, successful eco-tourism should also raise the awareness of cultural and environmental issues amongst the local host destination and the visiting tourist. Eco-tourism should be a positive experience for the local community as well as the tourist. Finally, eco-tourism should offer clear financial benefits to local people and to local conservation issues. |
Write the essay. (around 240 - 280 words)
Makeover: Zamira
Read Zamira's answer to this question below. Try correcting the piece of writing yourself first: use the marking codes to think about what might be wrong (or what's good) about the piece of work. Then when you're ready, click the green buttons in the text for our feedback.
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Both texts complement each other, describing pressing issues surrounding the tourism sector.
While Gd
So what are the problems caused by overtourism? Firstly, not only Gd Is there any alternative to the traditional and eco-unfriendly tourism? Apparently, there is – sustainable travel is becoming increasingly popular. How can this new trend benefit the host and the tourist communities? Firstly, sustainable travellers do their utmost to keep the natural environment safe and intact and inspire others to follow their lead. Equally importantly, they firmly believe that the cultural environment should be preserved and protected as vigorously WM As a Bournemouth local, I must say that I see more of the sun-seeking rather than the eco-conscious type of visitors to this city. And although our beaches do get overcrowded, our roads packed, and our public bins overflowing, I think everyone is entitled to their fair share of good weather and WM |
Feedback
Content
You have addressed the task appropriately and given a full and thoughtful answer to the question. The essay is within the word limit and everything is relevant. You have covered the main issues in each text and you have also offered an opinion of your own.
Communicative Achievement
The essay is written in an appropriate format and in an academic style. I nearly suggested deleting the final sentence as it verged on the kind of comment you would find in an article rather than an academic piece of writing. But it works well so I've left it in! The reader would be fully informed of the content of both texts and your own views.
Organisation
The essay is organised logically with clear paragraphing. Linking words and discourse markers are used very well to create an extremely coherent piece of writing.
Language
This is a very well written essay. You have used both vocabulary and grammatical structures well to express your ideas flexibly. I am particularly impressed with your use of advanced sentence structures and your ability to write in very natural English. There are very few ‘mistakes’ as such.
Well done!
Marking Code
/\ Word(s) missing
- Omit word
C Capitalization
Gd Good
O Organisation
P Punctuation
PE Poorly expressed
R Register/Formality
SS Sentence Structure
S Spelling
T Tip
WF Wrong form
WO Word order
WT Wrong tense
WW Wrong word