Check out students' answers to Flo-Joe's CPE Writing tasks with a teacher's feedback
Question
You recently ordered an expensive item from a mail order catalogue after you saw it being advertised at a discounted price in the press. The company withdrew the offer after you made the order and charged you at the full price. Write a letter to the company outlining your dissatisfaction with the way you have been treated and the action you want them to take.
Write the letter to the company. (around 280 - 320 words)
Read Lena's answer to this question below. Try correcting the piece of writing yourself first: use the marking codes to think about what might be wrong (or what's good) about the piece of work. Then when you're ready, click the green buttons in the text for our feedback.
Re: Order Issue 36578937 Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing in regards to the problem I have encountered with order number 36578937 (Apple MacBook Air 13-inch, 8GB RAM, 256GB SSD Storage - Space Gray, 2020 model) purchased on March 3rd. The item was advertised in your March Monthly Ad magazine, in the member-only savings section, for WW I have to say that I was very excited about the purchase until I checked my account and saw the charge of $799 instead of $699. I immediately called customer service to clarify the problem, but they told me since I had not bought the item online, I did not qualify for the $100 off. I explained the situation to the representative, but he insisted that it was against the WW I feel this is grossly unfair Gd Looking WF Yours faithfully, **** |
Content
You have explained clearly what the problem was and what you would like the company to do to resolve the issue. All content is relevant to the question.
Communicative Achievement
The piece is written in the style of a letter of complaint and adopts an appropriate persuasive tone. The reader would be fully informed of the issues and have all the information they need to resolve the problem.
Organisation
The letter is laid out appropriately for a formal letter of this kind. Points are organised clearly into paragraphs. Discourse markers and other cohesive devices are used effectively.
Language
A very good command of the conventions of a letter of complaint is demonstrated. Ideas are communicated in an effective way, holding the reader’s attention throughout. Your use of English is very accurate and comes across as very natural with excellent choices of vocabulary and some well-constructed sentences.
Well done!
/\ Word(s) missing
- Omit word
C Capitalization
Gd Good
O Organisation
P Punctuation
PE Poorly expressed
R Register/Formality
SS Sentence Structure
S Spelling
T Tip
WF Wrong form
WO Word order
WT Wrong tense
WW Wrong word